just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
