Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
