His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
