He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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