How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize