That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
