i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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