First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize