chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
