i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
