ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
