I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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