We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
