Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
