If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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