Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
