honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The uberlube is also flammable
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
