Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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