Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
how does that bad decision feel?
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