there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
