That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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