So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
