Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
worst night to have a conscience
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
