guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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