K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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