I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
