Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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