Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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