my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
