Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
