she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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