He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
