omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
