sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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