Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
