Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
