i don't like sucking hair
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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