So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
