Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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