she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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