she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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