this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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