And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
