just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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