Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Every concussion has its silver lining
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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