She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
