she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
