I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
