so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
