Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize