Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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