I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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