drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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