You made me cry and you don't even care
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
