Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
