4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
