I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
