Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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